by Adam Jones

Fortunately for all concerned the pre-game quarters assigned to the groom came complete with a number of big leather chairs and a 52-inch HD screen.  I was allowed in because I was asked to make brief remarks on the couple's behalf. The library at Tarrytown Methodist, where I awaited my own big event, had no such amenities. Of course, I was married in May, so there was no religious conflict between what I promised before God and family and catching the end of a crucial SEC game. On Saturday night, LSU and Kentucky should have wrapped up by wedding time; but the Wildcats forced overtime and created some real consternation considering that there were more than a few Tiger partisans in the crowd. This wedding, you see, was a perfect match of Texas groom and Louisiana bride; the house was full of guests for whom the terms "Cajun" and "Redneck" are not pejoratives, but rather descriptive terms of endearment.

The wedding and overtime proceeded concurrently. Kentucky scored their first possession touchdown during the seating of the mothers. LSU answered during the declaration of intent.

A few brief words were said. Vows were repeated. The couple exchanged rings. The two teams exchanged field goals.  

With one last celebratory introduction, those assembled applauded Mr. and Mrs. Mike Turner and Cajun hearts were full. With one last celebratory heave, Andre Woodson then broke them.

Kentucky 43, LSU 37

You may kiss the bride.

All that was left of the evening was a great country band, enough Cajun food to set my cardio-vascular health back three years and another broken red wine glass (clearly not my fault; you'll have to trust me).

Meanwhile, in Berkeley, California, a place largely devoid of great country bands and Cajun food, the California Golden Bears blew their shot at number one with a 31-28 loss to Oregon State. This one marked the tenth time this year a team in the top ten had fallen to an unranked opponent. Cal's solid quarterback, Nate Longshore, was a game-time scratch and his back-up, Kevin Riley, was inconsistently competent, or perhaps incompetently consistent. State's underappreciated tailback, Yvenson Bernard, carried the ball 33 times and kept the chains moving for the Beavers.

The computers are likely to tell us that Ohio State is number one. There are plenty of folks who would argue that the Buckeyes, who ripped Kent State 48-3, are not the nation's best team. I am not one of them. In a chaotic year like this one, you could do worse than to bet on the nation's best coach. For my money, that's Jim Tressel.

After the Buckeyes, the ranks of the undefeated are pretty thin. There's Boston College. The Eagles went to South Bend and put on a marginally impressive performance in a 27-14 win. The problem with beating Notre Dame with no style points is that you are forced to do it on national television, assuming, of course, that anyone is still watching.

South Florida stayed undefeated with an absolute woodshed job on their rivals from Central Florida. Try 64-12 on for size. UCF is not at all bad, which made this margin surprising, particularly after South Florida's workmanlike (read: boring, uninspiring, depressing) win over Florida Atlantic last weekend.

Arizona State trailed at the half, but then went on a 21-point binge in the third quarter and ran away from Washington, 44-20. The Sun Devils are 7-0.

Hawaii stayed unblemished with a Houdini-like escape on Friday night, beating San Jose State in overtime, 42-35. And the last undefeated team in the nation is...

Kansas.

Come again?

Kansas. The Jayhawks beat Baylor, 58-10. Going to Colorado next week might be somewhat of a bigger challenge.

The weekend saw a couple of other would-be-undefeateds go down. Oklahoma clocked Missouri 41-31. The Tigers made a couple of key mistakes and the Sooner run game eventually wore Mizzou's defense out.

The problem with Brian Brohm is that, even though his team is lousy, he's still probably the best quarterback in the country. Cincinnati found this out the hard way as he bounced them from the undefeated list: Louisville 28, Cincy 24.

Clearly something is wrong with USC. The Trojans nearly blew another one to an (allegedly) undermanned opponent, finally surviving Arizona 20-13.

Auburn is the new Ohio State, grinding out wins the best way they can. The Plainsmen edged Arkansas 9-7 and held Darren McFadden to under 50 yards rushing, not exactly the dream Heisman season he was hoping for.

The Big Ten was interesting. Just when you thought Ron Zook's coaching reputation was safe, his Illini go and blow in an ugly, check that, UGLY, loss to Iowa, 10-6.

Penn State waxed Wisconsin, who wasn't particularly good on either offense or defense, 38-7.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back your Big Ten frontrunners, the Michigan Wolverines. Big Blue 48, Purdon't 21. Remember when Purdue was good?

Nawth Klina, all of a sudden believing it is a good football team under Butch Davis, waged a furious comeback in a game South Carolina thought they had in hand. In the end, the Gamecocks hung on for a 21-15 decision.

Interesting headline the Austin paper: "Tech gives Aggies normal beating." Texas Tech 35, Texas A&M 7. Not much of a futures market on Dennis Franchione shares.

Tennessee beat an improving Mississippi State 33-21. Alabama overcame Ole Miss 27-24 and Georgia ruined Vandy's homecoming 20-17. That Vanderbilt even schedules Georgia for homecoming must be some sign of Commodore confidence.

There were a few big blowouts of note. Virginia Tech lost Tyrod Taylor to injury, but destroyed Duke anyway behind a surprisingly effective Sean Glennon, 43-14.

Oregon wiped up the field with Washington State 53-7 but lost two very good players, wide receiver Cameron Colvin and tailback Jeremiah Johnson, played by Robert Redford in the movie version.

Texas demolished Iowa State 56-3. This left me pondering two items. First, is this a sign that Texas has shaken off their early season malaise? Second, really, since Dave Lapham in the announcing booth has become a complete parody of himself anyway, couldn't Fox Sports just sign Fred Willard and let him re-enact his star turn from Best in Show during their football broadcasts?

In the Thursday special, Wake Forest, a team that should never be within three touchdowns of Florida State, beat the Seminoles anyway 24-21.

Impressive Showing of the Week: Oregon State

As far as the top ten? Let me just say that your guess is as good as mine. If we had to play a neutral site tournament starting tomorrow, here are my seeds:

1. Ohio State

2. Oklahoma

3. LSU

4. Oregon

5. Kentucky

6. South Florida

7. South Carolina

8. Boston College

9. Arizona State

10. California

11. Auburn

12. West Virginia

13. Florida

14. USC

15. Virginia Tech

16. Missouri

To Holly DuBois Jacques and Big Mike Turner, have a great honeymoon. I will have it sorted out upon your return.

Copyright 2007 Adam Jones

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