by Adam Jones

Won't you come to Alabamy

Come and meet my dear old Mammy

Fryin' eggs and boiling hammy

That's what I like about the South

"Who are you pulling for?" 

"Nobody, really, I just need something to write about."

True that - a full college football day had almost disappeared without an intriguing story line. The television in the bedroom was my last hope to salvage something at least halfway interesting. There are, of course, some things in life you can depend on and southern football is one of them. In my personal life it ranks on the dependability scale right up there with my ancient dog Truman, breakfast at Cisco's in East Austin, the San Antonio Spurs in a playoff game, Son Volt and the Gospel of John (not necessarily in that order, John's Gospel is more dependable than the Spurs, for example, whose poor free throw shooting occasionally costs them a win).

As I pondered this, I had no choice but to amend the old Bob Wills classic.

The early games ain't worth a penny

‘Cept maybe Georgia Tech losin' to Virginny

Thank God for night games from Bryant-Denny

That's what I like about the South

Georgia 26

Alabamy 23

At the outset, I would like to thank Matthew Stafford for throwing a perfect strike to Mikey Henderson and ending this game quickly in overtime, which saved me an indeterminate amount of sleep. Stafford's pass was necessary because Alabama's John Parker Wilson led yet another comeback drive to tie the game at 20. When my friend, P.W., a Tide fan in exile in New York City, asked my input about the game, I started with: Georgia is better than Alabama. Well, they are, but that's not the whole story. ‘Bama is playing with a different level of toughness and smarts this year and will be interesting to watch down the stretch. Meanwhile, Georgia's Mark Richt continues to be perhaps the most underappreciated coach in America. Hostile away games for the Dawgs? No problem.

Speaking of dependability, sports investors will tell you there is nothing better than Louisville laying the points at home. Try 15-2 against the spread over the last three seasons. Of course, those Louisville teams could tackle. This one? Not so much.

Syracuse 38, Louisville 35

No, Syracuse didn't get any better over the last week; Louisville is just a bad football team. In defense of the Cardinal defense, Brian Brohm throwing for 555 yards should result in more than 35 points. Small consolation to be sure.

I nearly put Georgia Tech in my top ten two weeks ago. Then the Rambling Wreck got rolled by BC. Tech followed that performance with an exciting 28-23 loss at Virginia on Saturday. I believe at this point that Chan Gailey may have lost his way. Who would have guessed that Al Groh would have more job security at this point in the season? His Cavs are undefeated in the ACC.

I owe Houston Nutt an apology. I referred to him as a half-wit last week for not giving Darren McFadden the ball during crunch time against Alabama. I did not know at the time that McFadden was on the sideline nursing cramps. I'll reassess. Houston Nutt is only a quarter-wit; he still let Casey Dick throw an incompletion when he could have run Felix Jones (unless of course Jones was suffering from cramps, in which case I give up). I'm docking McFadden half of my Heisman vote for getting cramps against Alabama.

Back to live action, Arkansas seemed to be in control of Kentucky on Saturday, just liked they seemed to be in control of Alabama last week. However, my supersecret darkhorse UK Wildcats turned the tables down the stretch for a 42-29 win in a game more entertaining that Coach Nutt's lively seminar on player and parent relationships.

I told you last week that Penn State was in for a fight in the Big House. The Nittany Lions anemic offense finally did them in: Michigan 14, Penn State 9. This was an old-fashioned humdinger of a game. That is if you like to watch Michael Hart run 44 times for under four yards a carry anyway. The Big Ten: Football Only a Mother Could Love.

Michigan could win the Big Ten and go to the Rose Bowl. Seriously.

So could Wisconsin, but I wouldn't bet on it. The Badgers underwhelmed Iowa 17-13. That makes Wisky two points better than Iowa State, if you are scoring at home.

Michigan State, right on schedule for their annual mid-year disaster, handled Notre Dame 31-14. The Fighting Irish did record an offensive touchdown. Wake up the echoes, baby...

I have no idea what Florida's players were thinking at Mississippi, but my guess is that it had more to do with co-eds and post-game cocktails than it did football (which is not bad, that's usually what Ole Miss fans are thinking of during the game). Tim Tebow saves the Gators in a 30-24 win completely devoid of any style points.

Clemson thrashed NC State pretty good, with over 600 yards of total offense in a 42-20 final. I would note that this has been an impressive start for the Tigers, but that opinion is greatly tempered by knowing that Tommy Bowden has few coaching peers when it comes to his ability to turn chicken salad back into...well, you know the rest.

On Thursday, Texas A&M lost to Miami 34-17 partially because the Aggies couldn't devise an offensive game plan; I'm convinced that if the ghost of Bill Walsh visited Dennis Franchione in his sleep and possessed him, the A&M training staff would send for an exorcist. But the other reason they lost is because their back seven, starting both Electra Woman AND Dyna Girl at cornerback, is dreadfully slow. Making Kyle Wright look like Peyton Manning takes some special effort.

On Friday, Bob Stoops and his Traveling Legions of Crimson Doom simply erased a fairly respectable Tulsa squad 62-21. I would note here that the Sooners whipped Miami 51-13 if you want to do some transitive property analysis.

On Saturday, Nebraska came within the width of a corn husk to losing to Ball State, but prevailed 41-40 as a Cardinal receiver dropped a game-winning TD strike.

Meet the new Big 12, same as the old Big 12.

Texas did throttle Rice, 58-14, which would make this Longhorn alum much happier if every sports journalist in America didn't amend references to Rice with: "perhaps the worst team in Division I football."

Texas Tech rolled up 646 passing yards and somehow managed to lose to Oklahoma State, 49-45. Mike Leach was downright miffed.

Road game at Washington State? That spells trouble. Home game against Washington State? Cue the walk-ons. USC 47, Wazzu 14

LSU hammered South Carolina 28-16 in a game that was never really in doubt. A stop by the Tigers on a fourth down in the third quarter snuffed out ‘SC's gumption. LSU is somewhat fast I noticed, even the kicker, who scored on a key fake at the end of the first half.

South Florida crushed Nawth Klina 37-10 and West Virginia clobbered East Klina 48-7.

Va Tech sent William and Mary home beaten, not sure which one of them drove. Missouri beat Illinois State 38-17; Boston College started slow before putting away Army by 20 and Ohio State annihilated Northwestern 58-7.

Cal raced to a 28-point first quarter to beat Arizona 45-27. In the late game, Oregon gave up 28 second-quarter points to Stanford, but dominated the second half in a 55-31 win.

Hawaii hung 66 on someone called Charleston Southern.

Impressive Showing of the Week: Georgia

1. LSU: My friend G.F. from Jacksonville wrote in this week complaining that red wine had no place in a discussion of college football, to which I replied: you don't know enough LSU fans. That would be akin to saying to a Tennessee fan that homemade corn liquor has no place in college football.

2. USC: Ran Nebraska out of the stadium last week; passed Wazzu out of the stadium this week. Nice balance.

3. Oklahoma: The only question is whether or not Bob Stoops will burn this team out the way he has some of the other Sooner squads that have started like this.

4. West Virginia: Are there only four elite teams in the nation? Or are there five? I would not bet on Florida taking a neutral field against West Virginia tomorrow.

5. Florida: Not a great road debut for the Gators, although a win is a win. I'm betting Urban's boys show a little more enthusiasm on October 6^th in Baton Rouge.

6. California: The Bears do give up some points, although the 27 scored by Arizona was a bit deceptive. Cal needs to play four quarters of defense, not just three.

7. Oregon: Although the Ducks' first-half defense was at times atrocious against Stanford, the second-half was a complete game on both sides of the ball.

8. Boston College: The Eagles should have been ranked in last week's top ten. I left them off in favor of a lame Texas/Wisconsin joke. My apologies.

9. South Florida: We might as well rank teams by what actually happens on the field, even though that's not really the way the world works. The Bulls get West Virginia on Friday.

10. Ohio State: Are the Buckeyes the surest thing the Big Ten has remaining?

Texas is eleventh: not because they beat Rice 58-14 but because Central Florida clobbered Memphis 56-20. Clemson is number twelve and South Carolina edges Georgia as the nation's best one-loss team.

That's what I like about the South.

 

Copyright 2007 Adam Jones