September 17, 2006

by Adam Jones

Oh baby don't it feel like heaven right now?
Don't it feel like something from a dream?
Yeah, I've never known nothing quite like this,
Don't it feel like tonight might never be again?
We know better than to try and pretend,
Baby no one could have ever told me 'bout this...

The waiting is the hardest part,
Every day you see one more card,
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart,
The waiting is the hardest part.

-Tom Petty, The Waiting

 

Tonight I will repay one of the great favors in my life. When I was 13, my brother Sam took me to my first rock show. The Blue Oyster Cult played the Amarillo Civic Center Coliseum. They opened with "Veteran of the Psychic Wars" from the Heavy Metal soundtrack; they ended with "Don't Fear the Reaper" and then Eric Bloom rode a Harley on stage for an encore version of "Born to be Wild." It might as well have been yesterday. I remember thinking at the time, "I can't believe Mom and Dad let me come to this."

And now I am a parent. Tonight is the last night of the Austin City Limits Music Festival, the first one I have attended. At around 8:30, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers will open the final set of the festival with either "American Girl" or "So You Wanna be a Rock and Roll Star" and I will be there with my son, Z. He's 10. I've waited 26 years for this moment.

The waiting is the hardest part.

Tom Petty was thinking about a girl when he wrote that, but, being a Gainesville, Florida native, he might as well have been singing about college football. Not much of a stretch to equate the affections for southern teams with southern girls. Some guys even like their teams more (which, by the way, is complete madness as anyone who has ever dated an SEC gal can attest-I know; I am married to one). No surprise that on the typically over hyped "Greatest September Day in College Football History" (or some nonsense), the South rose again. You can flip from Eugene, Oregon to South Bend, Indiana to Auburn, Alabama on your TV set and the difference is palpable. No offense to the fans under Touchdown Jesus or the bedlam of Autzen, but the scene from Jordan-Hare literally bursts through the set. The noise never stops and gets louder as the game progresses.

This is what faced the LSU Tigers on Saturday. I've rarely seen a team take so much punishment from an opposing defense-Auburn's Will Herring can particularly dish it-and continue to come back and try again. The LSU defense was equally rough on the Plainsmen. Auburn's great tailback, Kenny Irons, ran for the hardest and most painful 70 yards I've ever seen. It all came down to one touchdown, one field goal and one JaMarcus Russell comeback that fell four yards short.

Auburn 7, LSU 3

The other big SEC showdown was no less intense, but it was somewhat prettier. Florida's Chris Leak may have truly come of age with a strike to Dallas Baker to end it. For about seven hours four SEC teams played the game about as well as it could be played on Saturday.

Florida 21, Tennessee 20

Are you still wondering where the allegedly more physical, tougher, aggressive, hungry Michigan Wolverine squad misplaced their collective resolve? Oh, here it is. Michigan lit up Notre Dame 20-7 early and I thought they got some breaks and the Irish would return. At 34-7, I started to doubt Notre Dame's ability. At 34-14 with Heisman Default Quinn running the two minute drill perfectly heading into halftime, I-remember I am a man with no faith in Michigan-looked forward to ND's second-half comeback. When the third quarter started and Michigan slugged Heisman Default right in the mouth while Mike Hart, Chad Henne and the fantastic Mario Manningham made his defensive teammates look silly, I sensed a new Michigan. One that Ohio State, 37-7 winners over Cincinnati, might want to look at some tape on.

The New Michigan 47, The Old Notre Dame 21

Louisville ambushed Miami in a 31-7 runaway that The U had coming to them for their silly display of machismo in stomping on the midfield Cardinal logo before game time. Has it come to this, Miami? Trying to intimidate Louisville? The Hurricanes are spent; yes, Louisville is very good on offense, but if Miami prides itself on D-and that's all they seem to have left-they must give their team a chance to win against good teams.

Which brings me to...

Florida State. The Seminoles got whacked at home in a game that should have gone to overtime. Unfortunately, in a quick substitution ploy that saw Clemson go on a quick count while the FSU defenders were still setting up shop, Clemson's underrated tailback James Davis went for 47 yards almost untouched to set up his own game-winning TD. It was the kind of maneuver that Bobby Bowden might well have employed against someone else. How sharper than a serpent's tooth is to have a thankless child...so said Shakespeare. Bobby Bowden should read King Lear sometime.

Was the titanic early season match-up of FSU and Miami simply an early conference game between two average opponents? ?Say it ain't so.

While I am asking questions, is anyone else creeped out by the realistic animatrons in all the Charles Schwab commercials? The newest one, which I refer to simply as "middle-aged woman with ridiculously big teeth" looks like what a Japanese animation artist would do with the Stepford Wives.

Oh, and is it above NBC to actually discuss college football during a college football halftime show? If I wanted to watch the NFL, I would have secured a reliable bookie years ago.

In the worst decision GameDay ever made, they chose to shill for ABC during the USC/Nebraska game. The good people of Auburn should be given an apology as USC cruised to a 28-10 win over Big Red. I hope the SEC isn't ignored the rest of the year simply because CBS provides a superior college football product to ESPN. As for the game, Nebraska played well, they are simply a recruiting class short of being able to compete with USC.

While the Cornhuskers competed honorably, the rest of the Big 12 was a disaster. Oklahoma lost a 33-20 lead in the final 1:12 to lose at Oregon. I will be the first to admit that the Sooners got jobbed on a terrible review of an on-sides kick and an even worse pass interference call on a tipped ball. However, the Sooner defensive breakdowns can't be ignored. This on a day when Adrian Peterson cracked 200 yards and completely wore out a decent Duck defense (say that 10 times fast) in the final stanza.

TCU ripped Texas Tech-if 12-3 can be a "ripping"-by completely shutting down what we all thought was a potent Raider offense. TCU coach Gary Patterson then went a little nuts with the lack of respect thing in the after game press conference, but that makes it fun for everyone, doesn't it?

Iowa returned to form by beating Little Brother State 27-17. Amazing how much smarter Kirk Ferentz is when Drew Tate is running the offense.

Texas A&M needed a goal-line stand to hold off Army 28-24 in a special game played in San Antonio. Army's well-coached by Bobby Ross and probably better than you think. However, they shouldn't have been on the field with the Aggies in the second-half.

Arizona State polished off Colorado 21-3.

Texas committed 18 penalties in a 52-7 win over Rice-and that may be the high point of the conference slate. Maybe they can talk TCU into joining next season.

In other top 25 news, West Virginia lit up Maryland (hey, who let a legitimate Division I opponent in the stadium?) 45-24. Steve Slaton ran for a horrendous amount of yards.

Georgia and Virginia Tech combined for 70 points and shut out UAB and Duke.

Cal beat Portland State and Penn State beat Youngstown State.

BYU did their level best to upset BC, but the Jesuits, throughout their history have been vigilant against apostates and they won in double OT behind key defensive stops and a heavy dose of St. Thomas Aquinas and Clement of Rome.

In the dishonorable mention category, Syracuse took out Illinois 31-21, North Carolina somehow gave up 42 freaking points to the Furman Paladins (but won anyway) and Virginia, for the love of Ralph Sampson, lost to Western Michigan. That's the Broncos, you know the fourth, or fifth, or maybe sixth-best team in the MAC. Paging George Welsh, are you still out there?

Impressive Showing of the Week: Michigan

1. USC: And the Trojans aren't even good yet.

2. Auburn and Ohio State: The LSU win was enormous, but Ohio State beat Texas more decisively and on the road. It's a toss-up.

4. Michigan: I still lack some faith in the Maize and Blue, but that was as bad a butt-kicking as you could ask for on the road against the number two team in the nation. To discount what Michigan did one would have to assume Notre Dame was overrated. I'm not sure Notre Dame is overrated (remember I had them ranked fifth, not second).

5. Florida: The offensive line played well enough against a very good opposing front seven. If that's Florida's only alleged weakness, then shouldn't I reconsider where the Gators fit? Could Florida beat Texas? I think they probably could.

6. Texas and LSU: Texas could line up with two tight ends and beat every single team in the country, other than the ones listed above. As an Orangeblood, I kind of wish they had done exactly that against Ohio State. The Big 12 schedule won't help them impress anyone if this week is any indication. LSU, for their part has talent equal to Texas, but will get another chance to prove it. How's October 7^th at Florida grab you?

8. Tennessee: The Vols will likely lose again this season, but I just don't get the feeling that we will see a swoon reminiscent of 2005.

9. Louisville: The offense is poetry in motion, but did anyone notice how bad the Cardinal D treated Miami?

10. Georgia: How far can you climb with a freshman at the wheel? Georgia may show us.

West Virginia fans are probably furious at me for giving Georgia the ten spot after the mess they made of the Dawgs in bowl season last year. Of course, in the 12 years I've written this, I have yet to get an e-mail from a Mountaineer. Where are you?

Oregon doesn't get consideration because Oklahoma got jobbed. Iowa needs to work their way back into my good graces.

This leaves TCU. The school that gave us both Sammy Baugh and Dan Jenkins and, for good measure, plays pretty nasty football at the moment. Why the hell did Texas schedule them for 2008? They might want to reconsider.

Time for me to get my rock-and-roll Joneson. Son Volt starts at 6:00. They're dope, or stupid, or something. I'm not hip anymore. That's Z's job. Starting tonight.

So you want to be a rock and roll star? Well listen now to what I say. Just get an electric guitar and take some time and learn how to play...

 

-Adam Jones

Copyright 2006

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