Written by Adam Jones

August 15th, 2006?

Forty. That's what I will be in February. B, the three year-old, reminds me of this daily. When his smartass mother asks him: 'How old is Daddy?' He gleefully responds: 'Almost forty.' ?B executes this line right on cue because his mother has trained him to do so. Everyone thinks this is funny.

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Including me. You know why? Because forty is cool. Forty takes on a certain finished quality. A man knows who he is at forty. And I know I also wouldn't change much about this life, even if I possessed the magic ticket with the six correct sequential numbers. You know what else? I'm still 39, dammit.

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Through those almost 40 years, I've inventoried a fairly comprehensive list of other things I know. I know, for example, that I don't intend to ever drink cheap whiskey again. I know I would rather spend an hour doing nothing with C, the one year-old, than an hour doing something with just about anyone else. I know that I like my wife and I dislike golf and those two facts are unmistakably connected. I know that no one ever recorded a better rock-and-roll song than Jimi Hendrix's version of Dylan's All Along the Watchtower,but that's another essay entirely. I know that my son Z proves daily that I didn't enjoy being ten enough when I was ten. I also know that Billy Collins 'screw the critics' is America's greatest living poet, that self-deprecation is an underappreciated gift, that most folks do not believe the Texas Panhandle is particularly beautiful and that is their problem and that my dog Truman, while not my favorite relative, would certainly finish in the top ten.

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I know that I have a spiritual connection to college football. Many of you do. True fans ascribe mysterious forces to the outcomes of games played on sacred ground. I'm convinced that this is why Episcopalians are such natural college football fans. For starters, most of them go to college. They have a deeply instilled sense of sacred tradition liberally spiced with pageantry. That's no different than any fall Saturday in the South. The Episcopals also have all those great cocktail recipes. I may simply be voicing my own jealousy. I was raised Presbyterian. The liturgy is the same, but we didn't do pageantry and tradition. Or cocktails, for that matter. This, thankfully, does not get in the way of my spiritual life away from the church.

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These things I know. You wanna know what I don't know?

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I don't know, don't even have an idea, of who the best team in college football will be in 2006.

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Welcome back friends, to season twelve of the JonesTop Ten.

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You know the Blues Brothers? The Blues Brothers might be one of the greatest bands ever assembled. Could be, that is. But t'ain't so. Saturday Night Live birthed the Blues Brothers as a joke, or at least homage. They weren't supposed to be a real band. Oh but they were,a remarkable assemblage of talent. Depending on the iteration, the Blues Brothers had half of Booker T and the MGs on stage, Matt 'Guitar' Murphy, some of the finest horn players to draw breath, Paul Shaffer on keyboards and either Willie Hall or Steve Jordan on drums. All of this behind, let's face it, one pretty bad singer (Dan Aykroyd) and one competent one (John Belushi).

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College football 2006 has a Blues Brothers problem. There are some remarkable assemblages of talent all geared toward overcoming some great deficiency. No one rises to the top. Not a single team screams 'We're number one.' There's no 2005 USC, no 2003 Oklahoma, 2000 Miami, pick-a-year Florida State, & everybody's got some warts.

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You could create some greatness with a little parlor game. Give LSU's Matt Flynn to Texas and let him play quarterback, then ship Miami's secondary to Notre Dame, let Adrian Peterson play for USC and give A.J. Hawk one more year of eligibility at Ohio State. Now you've got something. It would be like the Blues Brothers finding Seal or Keb' Mo backstage and giving him a microphone.

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But football games aren't played in parlors. As longtime reader J.R.W. is fond of saying: 'I gotta live in the world that is, not in the world that oughta be.' ?In the world that is, here's my best shot:

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1. No clue: I've already explained this. Why does anyone put out a preseason poll anyway?

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2. Auburn: In the absence of a clear-cut number one, I love to look at offensive and defensive lines and secondaries. Auburn has all of that. The Tigers also have a phenomenal set of running backs and Brandon Cox, one of the most underrated quarterbacks in the nation. One of their hot shot young receivers needs to step, but the Tigers have many to choose from.

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3. Texas: At 21 positions on the field Texas fields the best blend of talent and experience in the nation, including arguably the best set of offensive and defensive lines. The problem is that the 22^nd position for Texas happens to be quarterback. It's not like the Horns are going to trot out Jenna Bush to take the snaps or anything, but whoever he is, the kid will take his first college snap on September 2^nd. That's enough for the defending champs not to keep their spot.

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(NOTE: Please don't e-mail me any of that 'the champs are number one until proven otherwise' crap. Maybe in the pros, but not in college and certainly not when Vince Young is in Nashville negotiating Reebok contracts. Trust me, these are my hometown boys and nobody will miss him more than I will, but they are not automatically the best team in the country because of last season's roster.)

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4. USC or Cal: I actually like Cal better and,write this down,the Golden Bears will go to Tennessee on opening day and beat the Vols. That said one of the unknowns to the college football world and (especially) the guys who write preview magazines is the 'guy you never heard of' factor. Several guys you do not know will be all-conference performers this season. Guess what? It's very likely a few of them play for USC. Recruiting isn't an exact science, but yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and he has Pete Carroll's address.

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5. Ohio State: I'm not sure what the USA Today voters are thinking. Yes, the Buckeye offense will be spectacular, but Jim Tressel is still calling the plays and nine new defensive starters is nine new defensive starters,albeit very very talented ones. The Buckeyes go to Texas on September 9^th and go to Iowa on September 30^th. Win those and I promise right here on the internet that I will make the Buckeyes number one.

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6. LSU: The Tigers need a couple more linebackers, their SEC road schedule is murder and Les Miles still coaches them. Nevertheless, this should be one hell of a football team in the post-Katrina season. We will all know how good September 16^th at Auburn,is it just me or are there a lot of great early season football games this year?

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7. Notre Dame: Ah the Irish. You love 'em, you hate 'em, you scream 'overrated' when the Sporting News makes them number one. I'm not sure TSN is wrong; the ND offense will be tremendous and the defense has got to get better, right? Right?

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8. Iowa: Anyone want to bet that a loaded Kirk Ferentz-coached team will have two disappointing seasons in a row? Me neither.

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9. Florida: Overall, the Gators trail only Auburn in terms of pure talent on the field. The problem is, I didn't like their offensive line last year and this year's shouldn't be any better. If it gels, then this is a scoring machine. The defense will be night and day better.

?10. Oklahoma: Hmmm, is Adrian Peterson so good that he can carry an offense without a proven quarterback and a whisper-thin offensive line? Well, yes actually. Especially if one considers Bob Stoops hasn't forgotten how to coach and the OU front seven is an absolute nightmare. For that matter, Phil Steele thinks the Sooner secondary is the nation's best (he's wrong, by the way, but still). This team could win every game by a Jim Tresselian 13-10, or they could lose at Oregon and mail it in. Let the games begin.?

The second ten could almost switch places with the teams above and that would be OK by me. For example, I don't think I have ever started a season with both Miami and Florida State out of my top ten. West Virginia's omission borders on unfair; the Mountaineers probably are one of the best ten teams in the nation, but to whom do we compare them? WVU plays NOBODY until Louisville on November 2. Speaking of Louisville, the Cardinals also have a top ten argument to make. Oregon will be very good and could take Oklahoma's spot with a win at Autzen on September 16^th. Penn State will miss Michael Robinson dearly, but the linebackers and young skill position players rock. Georgia needs a few good linemen, but they still have enough to be a tough out in the SEC. Arkansas is actually my favorite dark horse of the season. Nebraska finally appears prepared to run Bill Callahan's offense and the Huskers have more good football players stockpiled than you might think.

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The final slot in my top twenty goes to one of three teams. Take your pick. Michigan, Tennessee and Arizona State comprise the JonesNo Faith Holy Trinity. All three have top ten talent and all three can be counted on to fall apart at least a couple of times a year. I am sure one of them will prove me wrong. But, as I said, I got no faith.

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Just beyond the top twenty, I like Texas Tech (the only Big 12 team to play in a bowl every season in since the inception of the conference, you can look it up) a fair amount and think the Red Raider defense (of all things) will actually be pretty good. Virginia Tech rebuilds, but they are still Virginia Tech. Michigan State could actually win the Big Ten. And Jean van de Velde could also have won the British Open. I may have a contest to determine the game in which the Spartans completely implode against an inferior opponent. It's as predictable as the swallows returning to Capistrano.

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Welcome to put up or shut up time for Dennis Franchione and Texas A&M; a soft sked will give the Aggies a gaudy record through eight, then we will see what they are made of.

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The best of the mid-majors are, in order, Utah, TCU and Boise State.

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My supersecret darkhorse is Clemson. This could be Tommy Bowden's magic year.

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The most likely major upset of the early season will be Georgia Tech over Notre Dame.

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The feel good story of the year will be Navy.

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I am most intrigued by what Dan Hawkins will do with Colorado.

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Declining are Alabama, Boston College and North Carolina State. The Tide and Eagles will resurge, but I am not so sure that State didn't already blow their chance to be an upper echelon team under Chuck Amato.

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The Heisman Trophy winner will be, naturally, Brady Quinn of Notre Dame and Kenny Irons of Auburn will be the best player not invited to the ceremony.

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The best player you have never heard of is linebacker Patrick Willis of Mississippi.

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And, for what it's worth in August, I'm callin' 'em the way I see 'em. Think I'm blind? Contact me at adam@jonestopten.com.

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