Written by Adam Jones
Sunday, 30 October 2005

We all make choices in life. Today I made the choice to pick up cheeseburgers on the way home and wile away the afternoon throwing the ball around the yard with Z. That means you, my fair readers, are left without any semblance of the cyber-literary masterpieces to which you are accustomed. Well, actually it means you are largely spared my ruminations about cold fronts, the leaves falling outside, school carnivals, Marta's pumpkin flan, the amber glow of Bourbon on a cool evening and making chili. These seasonal memories come complete with a faithful dog asleep in the corner at no extra charge.

"Honey, did you read JonesTop Ten today?"

"No, dear."

"Why not?"

"It's week nine. That's when he gets all sentimental about carving pumpkins and daylight savings time ending."

"Good point."

I did have one of those great southern father and son stories all ready to go. Georgia quarterback Joe Tereshinski III passed up Harvard to go UGa where his father and grandfather went before him. A friend of mine pointed out that the SEC loves stories like this. That Tereshinski turned the big game on its head by making an unlikely catch on the halfback pass and stretching the ball into the end zone made it even better. Of course, the whole story imploded due to one inconvenient fact.

Georgia lost.

Reality tends to trump romanticism. It's only on those rare occasions that they intersect when life seems transcendent.

Florida 14, Georgia 10.

Not only did USC and Texas trade places in the BCS rankings - a non-story if there ever was one - the teams also switched modus-operandi. USC crushed Washington State 55-13 behind four first quarter TDs and a defense tired of hearing about how bad they are.

Texas, on the other hand, found themselves down to heretofore punchless Oklahoma State 28-12 heading to the break. The Longhorns generally displayed the kind of bored and inattentive play that ruins national title runs. Then Vince Young emerged from the phone booth, ran for 267 yards and told the defense he was going to personally kick their collective ass if they ruined his Heisman bid. Texas 47, Oklahoma State 28.

Meanwhile Virginia Tech sat at home satisfied with a 30-10 nationally televised whipping of #13 Boston College in the Thursday night special. Marcus Vick put on a clinic and the defense looked like the kind of unit that, well, wouldn't give up 28 points to Oklahoma State.

You know how you might spot your son the H and O when teaching him how to play HORSE? UCLA does the same thing except in real live college football games. The Bruins (yawn) found themselves down 24-3 to Stanford (ho-hum) with 7:04 remaining (zzzzzzzzz). Three touchdown drives later after (naturally) a hobbling Drew Olson took the last one in on his own with under a minute to play (yawn), UCLA forced overtime, which (what else?) they won (double yawn) to remain undefeated. Bruins 30, Cardinal (singular, don't call us Cardinals) 27.

The Miami Hurricanes in their tricked-out green and gold throwbacks took forever to put away North Carolina - a team that can't decide whether they are any good or not - 34-16 behind Tyrone Moss, who shredded the Heels for 196 yards and four scores.

Alabama and LSU took a breather to batter and belittle North Texas Utah State 91-6. I am sure that the losers' checks will clear.

Has Notre Dame taken leave of their senses? I think Charlie Weis is a fine football coach, but using the off week to negotiate a ten-year extension because you are thrilled to be 5-2 says something about Notre Dame Football that's a little unsettling.

Florida State played from behind all day before finally surviving Maryland, 35-27. Paging the Seminole defense, please pick up a white courtesy phone.

Penn State whacked Purdue 33-15 and I am not sure Purdue even cares anymore.

Ohio State won, get this, a scoring festival against Minnesota, 45-31. Ted Ginn, Jr. scored on yet another return - so untouched it looked like a 100 meter dash heat at the Big Ten track meet.

I don't know what Gary Barnett did to run Brian Calhoun off (check that: given Colorado's history over the last few years it could have been any number of things) but I hope the State of Wisconsin appreciates it. Calhoun rushed for 197 and five TDs in a 41-24 win over Illinois.

Michigan has come full circle by knocking off America's Sweetheart aka Northwestern, 33-17. The Wolverines go to 6-3 and could salvage a decent season by upsetting Ohio State in the finale.

Texas Tech 6, Baylor 0 in the fourth was the strangest score of the day. The Raider offense finally got rolling and the defense preserved the shutout in a 28-0 Tech win. Check this out: Tech had scored over 60 in three of the four previous Baylor games.

The SEC stealth candidate, Auburn, took out Ole Miss 27-3.

TCU went to 8-1 by slipping past San Diego State 23-20 and Fresno State beat Hawaii 27-13. Those two games were both more relevant to the top 25 than was the Oklahoma/Nebraska game. That's nuts. OU, by the way, welcomed back Adrian Peterson with a 31-24 win over the Huskers.

Tennessee's season is officially over and nobody is happier to end it than Steve Spurrier. You remember how Steve used to crack that you can't spell Citrus Bowl without the "U" and the "T?" This Tennessee team can't spell bowl at all without some semblance of  "O" and some more "W." South Carolina 17, Tennessee 15...in Knoxville. Vanderbilt and Kentucky can't wait to get these guys.

Impressive Showing of the Week: South Carolina

1. The Juggernaut: Winning thirty in a row and giving the BCS the finger in the process. Nice.

2. Texas: Vince Young had 'em right where he wanted 'em. Hell, Texas was down 35-7 to OSU last year and that was to a good Cowboy team.

2A. Virginia Tech: Hokies looked much better than Texas this week but the one orange sleeve look is killing me. You too, Florida. You want to impress me? How about all of your receivers just wear one glove?

4. Everybody who thinks they can beat UCLA just because

5. UCLA

6. Alabama: The ending stanza is LSU and Auburn. Can 'Bama figure out their post-Prothro offense by November 12th?

7. The Unfortunate Catastrophic Weather Events or the Indigenous People of Florida: Both of them played about the same game this week falling behind inferior opponents and then pulling out wins because of more talent on the field. Nothing is ever easy for Florida State. Did they really beat Miami this year?

8. LSU: One game where the Tigers actually execute on both sides of the ball would be nice.

9. Penn State: If Penn State goes 10-1 with wins over Wisconsin and Michigan State, does Joe Pa call it a career after the BCS bowl, or does he go again next fall? Discuss.

10. Ohio State and Notre Dame: ND gets Tennessee next week and Ohio State gets Illinois. I would have thought OSU had the easier opponent but now I am not so sure.

Happy Halloween.