Written by Adam Jones
Sunday, 18 September 2005

I may or may not own www.jonestopten.com. It depends on whether or not you accept Bourbon as currency. I've never worried about it; my friend R.G. at Quicksilver Internet owns the domain name lock, stock and gigabyte. He makes sure the registration never lapses and in return he annually receives one bottle of top shelf whiskey, Knob Creek, to be precise. We don't need a contract. We both hail from the school that says you can't drink a man's whiskey and then steal his Internet site. Or something like that. It helps considerably that we are both Methodists, but the more important shared religion is college football, especially the Southern kind. R.G. is a Floridian raised by a certain code that says to be kind to children and dogs, respect your elders and don't cheat at golf. He's a U Florida guy - old school SEC. Several years ago I had a lot to say about his homeland, and mine.

I am biased toward Southern football. Any Big Ten fan who reads this column will tell you that. I am also biased toward small towns in Texas, real country music and Will Rogers. I can't live without gumbo, cabrito, chicken fried steak, red beans and rice and I usually order grits in place of hash browns. I could argue the merits of beef versus pork barbecue all day long- and my friend G.F. in Nawth Klina still wouldn't grasp the superiority of a slow-cooked bovine. I love Bourbon. I love ACC basketball. I love the Cotton Bowl- whether or not there is a game being played there. I love college girls with southern accents. I love minor league baseball. I love the Gulf of Mexico. I think driving the length of Mississippi from North to South and the length of Tennessee from West to East are two of the best things someone in search of America can do. I know people who could be characters in a Flannery O'Connor novel. I am related to some of them. I could drink beer with an LSU fan all night long- and most LSU fans would oblige me. I love Elvis. And Little Richard. And I do indeed believe that Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil and it was probably worth it.

     JonesTop Ten, week ten, 1999

Six years and two children later I still feel the same way. And R.G.'s Gators are back on top.

Florida 16, Tennessee 7

This was not a pretty football game. Intense, hard-hitting, exciting, entertaining, yes. But, save for a handful of plays, it was not pretty. Florida played with a level of discipline and focus foreign to last year's squad and beat Tennessee largely in the kicking game. As for the Vols, the defense played lights out, but this offense is sick. I can't help but wonder if horrified Tennessee fans everywhere are remembering when Steve Spurrier owned Phil Fulmer - and wondering if Urban Meyer has picked up the mortgage payments. One game doesn't make a trend, but this Gator squad is well-coached and Meyer has a QB close to equal in talent to Alex Smith and with better skill players surrounding him. Will Meyer get his rude awakening to the SEC? Certainly. But it wasn't last night.

Beyond the Gators, yesterday was gut check time for the other two Florida schools, as well. Both apparently still have plenty of guts.

Florida State's defensive speed frustrated Boston College early and led to a 14-0 advantage. BC, to their credit, rallied to go up 17-14 at the half. In the second, BC lost quarterback Quinton Porter and FSU's superior athletes asserted themselves for two fourth quarter TDs and a 28-17 win. Despite FSU's talent, the best player on the field for my money was BC's Mathias Kiwanuka, who made an unbelievable TD saving play at Lorenzo Booker's expense.

Clemson let a huge opportunity sail over their heads - literally - when quarterback Charlie Whitehurst sailed one over a wide-open Chansi Stuckey in the end zone with almost zero time on the clock. The Tigers kicked a field goal for the tie. Three overtimes later, Miami, thanks largely to a huge effort from Tyrone Moss, put Clemson away 36-30.

Notre Dame is not quite there yet, wherever there is. Michigan State ran over the Irish most of the day before Notre Dame came back in the fourth to force OT. ND scored a field goal; State scored a touchdown. 44-41, Spartans, in one whale of a ball game.

All the big Florida schools posted big wins and Notre Dame and Michigan State played another classic with surprisingly high stakes. So what was the story of the day?

Could it be Vanderbilt? Seriously, the Commodores went to 3-0 with a 31-23 win over Mississippi. That's two conference wins in a row over respectable opponents, with their third win coming over a very well-coached, if not particularly talented, Wake Forest team. Vandy gets two lay-ups playing Richmond and Middle Tennessee before hosting LSU. Can you imagine Vanderbilt at 5-0? Fear the Dores, SEC.

While it's not relevant to the top ten, I did enjoy the horrendously, torturously, painfully awful exhibition of Nebraska 7, Pitt 6. The AP stringer described it as "a bizarre end to an inept offensive game by both teams" (it ended with a blocked field goal). Why did I enjoy it? Because I am not sure when I have ever thought two coaches were treated more unfairly by their respective schools than Frank Solich by Nebraska in 2003 and Walt Harris by Pitt in 2004. How do you like them now? Further ironic that Solich's own Ohio team handed Pitt one of their three losses.

Louisville started this week the way they finished against Kentucky: playing lousy football. The Cardinals were down 10-0 to Oregon State and looking generally purposeless before unleashing on the Beavers to the tune of 63-27.

While plenty of pay-to-play games dotted the schedule, USC 70, Arkansas 17, was not one of them (ostensibly). 70 points in the late game against an SEC opponent? One that used to be at least something of a national power? Where have you gone Razorbacks?

Alabama thumped South Carolina 37-14. The Gamecocks were not likely to duplicate their maximum effort against Georgia a week ago.  That and Alabama is plenty good.

Here is a question. How bad is Temple? Bad enough to be slammed 42-17 by Toledo. That's a moral victory; Toledo was held to three touchdowns below Temple's opponents' scoring average.

This was, for the most part, the last week of ugly beatings for undermanned opponents. Remember the Ohio team that shocked Pitt? Virginia Tech slammed them 45-0. Georgia destroyed Louisiana-Monroe and Michigan took out their frustrations on Eastern Michigan, 55-0. Rice beat Texas 10-9 in the second-half. Texas, however, won the first half 42-0.  Iowa crushed Northern Iowa - an easier out than Iowa State, apparently - 45-21.

The best score of the day belonged to Texas Tech. The Red Raiders beat Sam Houston State 80-21. Now there's something for USC to shoot for.

Oklahoma is not a good football team. That doesn't take anything away from UCLA, 41-24 winners over the Sooners, but it's still puzzling. Yes, the Sooners lost a ton of talent, but the kids who remain on the roster were highly coveted by everybody else in the country and Bob Stoops tends not to make poor recruiting decisions. It's something else and it needs strong medicine.

Virginia took out Syracuse on a last-second field goal, 27-24. Georgia Tech upended UConn (not a bad football team) 28-13.

Arizona gave Purdue a fight but couldn't close the deal. 31-24, Boilermakers. In a pair of other Big Ten/Pac Tens, Cal beat Illinois 35-20 and Arizona State made a mess of Northwestern 52-21.

Oregon didn't let Fresno State post another BCS conference win at their expense. The Ducks hold on, 37-34.

Finally, Ohio State endured the post-Texas hangover by taking out San Diego State 27-6. Nothing wrong with the defense, but the offense still doesn't quite look right.

Impressive Showing of the Week:  Michigan State

1. USC: Yes, the Trojans travel to "dangerous" Oregon next week and yes, I still think 'SC will kill them. I guess reporters have to write about something.

2. Texas: The Horns go to Missouri after a bye week to play the tremendous Brad Smith, almost the equal of Vince Young. Actually, if you took Vince Young and surrounded him with Baylor's talent, you would have a rough approximation of Missouri. Maybe that's too harsh. How about Kansas's talent?

3. LSU: The Tigers could jump right back over Texas with a win against Tennessee next week. Do you think there is any chance LSU will lose its first game in Baton Rouge? The Vols may get rolled.

4. Florida: I have a feeling the rest of the SEC is going to be very tired of Urban Meyer over the next ten years.

4a. or Georgia: We still don't know a lot about the Bulldogs.

6. The Indigenous Peoples of Florida: FSU has now beaten one top ten and one top fifteen team. I should rank them higher but this group still seems to be missing something (it is not speed at linebacker).

7. Virginia Tech: Assuming Reggie Ball is healthy, Georgia Tech will be a handful for the Hokies next Saturday.

8. Miami or Ohio State: The contest for best one-loss team starts early this year. Either of these teams could end up in the Rose Bowl when it's all over.

10. Louisville: I don't know if the Cardinals are one of the best ten in the nation, but I do know the performance on Saturday was awesome.

As we grow old we began to reconsider many of our assumptions. I'll reconsider the value of Lone Star beer now that a number of readers have come to its defense. So, for all of you in Lloyd's Bar in Humble, Texas I ask you one favor: please keep one cold for me. Maybe I will make it by during March Madness.

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