Written by Adam Jones
Thursday, 05 January 2006

They did it.

You know, I do my absolute best to write an objective and unbiased look at college football from a national perspective each week. But tonight I simply don't give a damn. The Texas Longhorns are national champs.

I thought this would happen in 1977. I was ten years old and I would stake out the afternoon paper delivery boy every Tuesday. In Amarillo there was still a morning and afternoon edition of the paper long after it was fashionable in other cities. The cynical believed that it was simply so the Amarillo Daily News could sell the same content twice. During college football season, however, it was vitally important that the afternoon paper could pick up the Associated Press college football poll, which did not appear in the a.m. And in 1977 I would intercept the delivery boy and turn to the sports, where the Longhorns were number one on the strength of a victory over whatever poor bastards got in the way of Earl Campbell. The story didn't have a happy ending however. Notre Dame 35, Texas 10 in the Cotton Bowl.

At the end of the 1983 season it was Georgia 10, Texas 9 in the Cotton Bowl. And in 1990, the Longhorns "Shock the Nation" tour ended in a 46-3 rout at the hands of the Miami Hurricanes. I was there. It was cold and sleeting and depressing.

Not tonight. I will go to sleep in Austin under an orange tower. With an empty Lone Star six-pack caddy sitting on my television set. With my burnt orange and white Brittany sleeping next to my ten-year old partner in crime. With young C sleeping in a world where the Longhorns have always been national champs. He simply doesn't know anything else.

Texas 41.

USC 38.

Someone was going to make one more play. Tonight it was the Texas defense stuffing USC on fourth and not very much. Then Vince Young had the ball one last time. And, really, there's nothing I have to say about that...

 

 

You know the old line "it's not really a party until something gets broken?" Well, it's not really a big Florida State game until somebody misses a crucial field goal, or two, or three. Penn State wins the Orange Bowl 26-23 in triple OT because their guy finally hit one. It marred an otherwise sloppy and penalty-ridden (21 of them - nice), albeit exciting, Orange Bowl. The announcers even managed to keep the AARP jokes to a minimum.

Ohio State clobbered Notre Dame 34-20 in the Fiesta and it could have been worse. The Buckeyes had touchdown plays of 56, 68, 85 and 60 yards. Why yes, Ted Ginn was involved, thanks for asking. The OSU had, as the Irish might say, a wee edge in team speed. 

West Virginia went nuts on Georgia racing to a 28-0 lead before the Dawgs could catch their breath. Georgia showed serious guts in a comeback that fell just short. The Mountaineers won the itinerant Sugar Bowl 38-35 by using the running game to deny D.J. Shockley a last chance with the ball after Georgia cut it to three with about five minutes to go. WVU has two great players, tailback Steve Slayton and quarterback Pat White, both of whom are freshmen and both of whom will terrorize the Big East next year. 

Alabama stymied Texas Tech's offense but still needed the ugliest field goal in the history of the Cotton Bowl to prevail over the Red Raiders, 13-10. It was the third time this season Tide kicker Jamie Christensen had kicked a game-winning field goal on the last play. Funny thing is he's not even that good of a kicker.

In the biggest surprise of the bowl season - to me anyway - Wisconsin beat Auburn 24-10 in a Capitol One Bowl in which the Badgers were never really threatened. Wisky's D holding Auburn to a single touchdown was astonishing. They must really love Barry Alvarez more than I would have guessed. You always have to consider the "retiring coach" factor.

Speaking of the Capitol One Bowl, which I think used to be the Tangerine Bowl, which used to be the Florida Citrus Bowl (or is that the Outback Bowl), but that's another story entirely, it wins this year's award for the most bizarre halftime show for dusting off Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. Remember, this is the same bowl that brought you the Bus Boys, who, in all honesty, looked much more comfortable than the dozen or so pasty white hipsters in 1920's era double-breasted suits. Who thinks this stuff up anyway?

The story of the Nebraska win over Michigan in the Alamo Bowl was either Lloyd Carr's unerring ability to nurse a lead literally to death or the unbelievable incompetence of the Sun Belt officiating crew; take your pick. The last play was even better then the famous Cal/Stanford trombone player ending. Or it would have been had Michigan been better at avoiding spectators and opposing players and coaches spilling out onto the field. Isn't that illegal? Maize (some of us call it corn) Huskers 32, Maize and Blue 28.

Iowa was down 31-7 to Florida in the Outback Bowl before deciding to make a game of it in the fourth. The Hawkeye comeback was thwarted in part by a terrible off-sides call on an onsides kick. The Gators persevere in the young genius coach match-up, 31-24. Free steaks for everyone.

What's this? A low scoring Holiday Bowl? Holy Stoops, Batman. Oklahoma 17, Oregon 10.

Can the Miami Hurricanes play any worse than they did in this year's Peach Bowl? Maybe, but they would be hard-pressed. LSU, playing behind back-up QB Matt Flynn, finishes the Season of Redemption and Reconciliation with a 40-3 blowout of the Catastrophic Weather Events. Irony fully intended.

Virginia Tech went off for 22 fourth-quarter points to overtake Louisville and win the Gator Bowl, 35-24. The Hokies capped it with a pick six late in the fourth, their third interception of the day.

Tulsa (as I keep saying: a better team than you think) impressed in a 31-24 Liberty Bowl win over a Fresno State squad that never looked right after the huge showdown with 'SC.

TCU desperately wanted to blow out a Big 12 team but that's not quite how it played out. The Horned Frogs did outlast Iowa State 27-24 in the Houston Bowl to cap a very successful debut in the Mountain West.

Virginia came back to post a 34-31 win over Minnesota in the Music City Bowl thanks in no small part to Glen Mason making idiotic game management decisions at the end of the first half and making an even dumber one at the end of the game. That and Marques Hagans' all around brilliance in the second half won the day for the Cavaliers.

Here's an idea, Northwestern. If a player gets a quick jump on an onsides kick attempt and returns it for a touchdown, how about not kicking exactly the same kick to exactly the same guy the next time you are faced with that situation? Northwestern did not heed my advice turning UCLA's Brandon Breazell into a Sun Bowl legend after he returned back-to-back shorties into TDs to help UCLA preserve a wild 50-38 win over the Wildcats in El Paso.

Brad Smith's college career ends in the Independence Bowl with four rushing TDs, 432 total yards and a 38-31 win over South Carolina after being down 28-7. What does he do for an encore?

Utah made a real mess of Georgia Tech 38-10. Guess the Jackets weren't all that thrilled with their Emerald Bowl invite.

Boston College survived their visit to the blue turf and beat Boise State 27-21 in what used to be known as the Humanitarian Bowl, which is not nearly as fun to watch when it is not snowing on the blue turf. Oh well, it was the only game on.

Colorado State's reputation for defense went straight down the toilet after surrendering 51 points to Navy in the Poinsettia Bowl. Meanwhile, it's just grand to send BYU to the Las Vegas Bowl, pity they couldn't play Liberty. Instead Cal took out the Joseph Smith contingent 35-28.

Finally, Arkansas State did actually cover the spread in a 31-19 loss to Southern Mississippi in the New Orleans Bowl, which was played in Shreveport. Couldn't they have at least sprung for a trip to Baton Rouge or Waco? 

Tallying it all up, your friendly neighborhood gambling expert went 9-9. I keep telling you, flipping a coin is much easier and requires less analysis.

Mississippi linebacker Patrick Willis is the 2005 JTT Underappreciated Player of the Year. He withstood a furious write-in campaign for Vanderbilt QB Jay Cutler, who was the runner-up despite not being on the original ballot. Mrs. JonesTop Ten (BS, Vanderbilt, 1990) denies any part in the Cutler movement.

The final top ten looks like this:

1. Texas

2. USC, a great great football team that deserves every accolade they get

3. Penn State

4. Ohio State

5. LSU

6. West Virginia

7. Georgia

8. Alabama

9. Notre Dame

10. UCLA

Just missing out is Virginia Tech and, in the sentimental favorite category, Wisconsin.

We may have said goodbye to the career of one of the great Americans of the 20th Century tonight, publicly anyway. I hope Keith Jackson gives it another go, but if not we better have  enjoyed the ride. There won't ever be another like him.

God speed and Whoa Nellie.

To you all.

Asleep.

And happy.

Your faithful author,

Adam Jones