Written by Adam Jones
Friday, 17 December 2004

"Yes dear" proves very valuable to those with spouses. Shorthand for "I'm willing to concede the point if I will be allowed to finish my coffee in peace," the prudent use of "yes dear" continues to prevent arguments great and small in the married world. This morning, I successfully avoided the assertion that, by tradition and necessity, all children must be photographed with Santa on an annual basis from infancy until they simply cease believing that the pudgy and hirsute actor at Barton Creek Mall is actually the same remarkable athlete who, pushing an easy three bills, shimmies down the chimney and deposits the latest offerings from the American amusement and entertainment complex.

I don't subscribe to this practice - the picture tradition that is -- but I am willing to admit that, in retrospect, the pictures are pretty damn cute. That much is evident going through the Christmas cards of other families who do indeed insist that all children must be photographed with Santa on an annual basis from infancy until they simply cease believing that the pudgy and hirsute actor at Barton Creek Mall is actually the same remarkable athlete who, pushing an easy three bills, shimmies down the chimney and deposits the latest offerings from the American amusement and entertainment complex. And so this fills my afternoon with B asleep and E on her route back from Dallas from a business trip. An afternoon cocktail turns this into a true pastime, as opposed to a filler activity. Just my luck, brother Sam bought a bottle of Old Forester on his last visit, he having helped me drink the last of the Knob Creek. In the advent of small-batch Bourbons, we seem to have forgotten a number of very old offerings that have kept southern males (and females) in good stead for over a century. Old Forester is one, ditto Old Grandad, Old Charter and the descendants of W.L. Weller still crank out a pretty good whiskey their own selves. We need to be reminded of such gifts during this holiday season. Although if you are in need of a small token of appreciation for your favorite college football columnist, then Blanton's fits the bill just fine, tradition be damned. And it will hold me in good stead. Reading this column, you may assume that I drink quite a bit - not true, I have about a dozen whiskeys a year, it's just that I see fit to write about almost every one of them. Embrace simple pleasures. Then tell stories about them. That brings me to the matter at hand.

 

Welcome to the 2004 JonesTop Ten Bowl Preview.

 

For me to embrace bowl games as a simple pleasure admits defeat. Yes, I enjoy the Holiday and Peach Bowls as background to the holiday season, but what I would really enjoy are some intense and brutally agonizing winner-take-all playoff games. Not going to happen. The players lighting up our TV screens over the next few weeks are playing for pride and enjoyment and what else, exactly? You have USC and Oklahoma and a string of exhibition games. Some fairly interesting (LSU v. Iowa in the Capital One) and some enjoyed only by the parents of the players involved (Alabama-Birmingham v. Hawaii?). This year's crop is particularly awful because of the mediocrity of some pretty important bowl-filling conferences. The Pac Ten, Big East and Big 12 "horrendously awful thank God half of us get a shot at Baylor" North were the worst offenders.

 

Here's the deal. I pick all of the bowl games that interest me - and believe me, I am pretty discriminating. I pick against the line mostly for my own amusement and because I am tired of writing witty recaps at this point in the season. I provide full disclosure that my picks over the history of the preview (five years, I think) come in at almost exactly 50/50. Why? Because the setters of spreads want it that way and any knowledge I have of college football - and I have a fair amount - is nullified by my lack of knowledge regarding which team's players got a good night's sleep and which team's players barely avoided arrest at three in the morning on the streets of Jacksonville or Memphis or, God forbid, Boise. Got it?

 

Good, but first a few housekeeping items. By now we know all of the winners of all of the individual awards and I annually pick them apart and report to you what buffoons the voters are. Last season's slate was particularly offensive. I can live with this season's selections. Matt Leinart arguably was the season's outstanding college football player. He guided his team to undefeatedville with much less to work with than he had last season, especially on the offensive line. While bailed out on occasion by Reggie Bush, Leinart played consistently great football from the get. That said, my vote would have gone to Alex Smith, but I am an unrepentant contrarian.

 

Did David Pollack deserve the Bednarik over Derrick Johnson? Probably not, but I don't think Johnson was necessarily the undisputed best defensive player in college football. Maybe I am just tougher on my own guys. What continues to puzzle me is the Lombardi Award. It's for the nation's best lineman. Yet nearly every season, the best outside linebacker in college football garners a finalist slot. This year Derrick Johnson lost out to Pollack, just like in the Bednarik. But the Bednarik goes to the best defensive player, an argument I could easily make for Johnson. There's not an argument out there for Johnson being a better lineman than Pollack. He's not a lineman. Could somebody at the Houston Rotary Club please write up a memo to that effect?

 

In other news, a Notre Dame administrator shaved her head in protest of Ty Willingham's firing. Chandra Johnson vows to remain a sister in hair to Telly Savalas until Notre Dame wins a national championship. No idle threat there; I hope she has an out clause. Short of that, I hope she has an attractive pate.

 

Although I am shocked, the winner of the "best player not to be invited to the Heisman ceremony" is Cedric Benson. Reggie Bush may well have pushed him out with the jaw-dropping performance against UCLA. Benson's remarkable numbers came with almost no benefit of a decent passing game (although accounting for Vince Young on the run does take some pressure off Benson).

 

The nominees for the 2004 JTT Most Underappreciated Player Award are as follows:

 

Vince Carter, Oklahoma center: OK he's an All-American, but seriously, playing with Jason White, Adrian Peterson, Mark Clayton and line mate and Outland winner Jammal Brown, has anyone written a single line about the most dependable center in the nation who, not coincidentally, plays on perhaps the nation's best offensive team?

 

Ashlan Davis, Tulsa kick returner: Haven't heard of him? Not surprising, he plays for a college football backwater. He just happened to return five kicks for touchdowns this season.

 

Darryl Tapp, Virginia Tech defensive end: Fitting that he plays for the most underappreciated team in college football, Tapp has 63 total tackles, 8.5 sacks and 23 hurries. He won't even sniff an All-American team this season.

 

Jason Campbell, Auburn quarterback: The senior quarterback on the undefeated and third-ranked SEC champion is underappreciated? Yep. Of course, very few folks really thought that Darian Hagen, Jamelle Holieway or Tommie Frazier deserved the Heisman, either. Unlike any of them, Campbell can actually throw the football.

 

Spencer Havner, UCLA linebacker: Havner doesn't just play on a bad defense; he plays on a terrible one. He made 125 tackles this season. Had he not, UCLA might have given up touchdowns on about 50 or 60 of those plays.

 

Fullbacks: It's barely a position anymore and every running back slot on All-Anything teams goes to a tailback. Too bad, because Navy's Kyle Eckel, Texas' Will Matthews, Ohio State's Brandon Joe and Auburn's Ronnie Brown (not really a fullback, but underappreciated nonetheless) all immeasurably (sometimes literally) contribute to their respective team's success. If your favorite team's fullback didn't make my list it's probably because I've never heard of him. Let me know.

 

OK class, stop reading and hit reply right now to vote for your favorite underappreciated player. Ties will be broken capriciously at my discretion. Get those ballots in.

 

And now, assuming you are still reading, the main event.

 

(Actually a brief pause while I quickly de-value the hopes and dreams of Southern Mississippi, North Texas, Georgia Tech, Syracuse, Bowling Green, Memphis, Marshall, Cincinnati, Wyoming, UCLA, UAB, Hawaii, Toledo, Connecticut, Miami (Ohio), Iowa State, Troy, Northern Illinois, Oregon State and, yes, Notre Dame. I hate to be a curmudgeon, but 11 of those 20 teams lost five games this season. Just because the bowl season is completely devoid of any meaning, does not mean I have to like it. I think it's great that the Wyoming players get to hang out in Las Vegas, but let's not pretend it's a meaningful football game. Bowling Green and Memphis probably deserve better; Memphis fields the exciting tailback DeAngelo Williams and I think the Tigers will upset BG, but the rest of these games are complete chamber of commerce fodder.)

 

MPC Computers
Virginia (-5) 38
Fresno State 17

 

As long as the very talented Cavaliers aren't playing anyone within rock-throwing distance of the top ten, then the game should be a blowout. This one will be. If not, the chants of "Hoo's Overrated?" will be unbearable. (Editor's Note: This game nearly fell into the above category but both teams are 8-3 and I have a regular UVa reader who has plenty of time for angry e-mails).

 

EV1.net Houston
UTEP 27
Colorado (-3) 23

 

That the Big 12 North "champ" ends up in the EV1.net Houston bowl is quite an indictment. Why is Colorado favored? I must take UTEP because: a) Mike Price is a better coach than Gary Barnett, b) UTEP will be glad to be here and Colorado's players will be pissed that they are missing ski season (seriously - you want to spend Christmas break in Houston when you already live in Boulder?), c) Colorado's just not very good, or d) all of the above.

 

Alamo
Ohio State 35
Oklahoma State (-2) 28

 

The dog will once again win outright. Ohio State is a very different club with Troy Smith at the helm than the club that lost to Northwestern. Both of these teams can be explosive and the Buckeye's Ted Ginn may be a more exciting true frosh even than Adrian Peterson. Oklahoma State's Vernand Morency had the misfortune of playing in a conference with Peterson and Cedric Benson; otherwise more of you would know who he was.

 

Continental Tire
Boston College 26
North Carolina (-3) 22

 

Boston College, with an Orange Bowl in their grasp, instead falls to the worst-named bowl of the whole season (couldn't the name sponsor at least put something interesting in the title?). I'm not sure why I picked them to win, actually.

 

Emerald
Navy 30
New Mexico (-2) 24

 

The Emerald Bowl, now that's a good name. This is the fourth bowl in a row where I have picked the underdog to win outright. Navy's Aaron Polanco and Kyle Eckel are a pair to watch running the option. Not only does Navy win on the "happier to be here" (HTBH) criteria, I think generally the fans will want Navy to win. Sorry, New Mexico.

 

If you have noticed a real lack of football analysis at this juncture, I think you're missing the point and you may want to go to www.collegefootballnews.com. Moving right along...

 

Holiday
California (-11.5) 45
Texas Tech 28

 

This could get very exciting. Tech's problem is, however, that Cal does two things very well - even though they don't get enough credit for either - run the football and play defense. Remember Cal shut out Arizona State, a team with similar offensive talent (albeit not as well-coached) as Texas Tech. Remember too that Oklahoma and Texas dominated Tech on the ground and, last time I checked, J.J. Arrington still plays for Cal. I would love to see the Red Raiders make a game of it, but I have serious doubts.

 

Music City
Minnesota 17
Alabama (-3.5) 28

 

One of the fundamental rules of bowl season is to always pick the SEC against the Big Ten in a minor bowl played in a southern state. I would pick Alabama here anyway because the highly underrated Tide defense will cause huge problems for Minnesota's very good running game. Alabama also wins big on the HTBH criteria.

 

Sun
Purdue (-7) 42
Arizona State 24

 

The Battle of the Quarterbacks Who Didn't Win the Heisman: Kyle Orton and Andrew Walter didn't really plan for their careers to end in front of hundreds of fans in El Paso. Despite a late-season collapse, Purdue brings the better defense to this one and there's nary an impressive win on the entire Arizona State schedule past the twin butt-kickings of UTEP and Iowa on September 2^nd and 18^th, respectively. UTEP and Iowa got much better. ASU got worse getting pasted by USC and Cal in games that weren't even competitive. Purdue in a walk.

 

Liberty Bowl
Louisville (-14) 56
Boise State 34

 

Yes I know this is ostensibly the 8^th ranked team in the country against the 10^th ranked and common wisdom proclaims this the best Liberty Bowl ever right down to the ridiculous over/under of 83. There's one small problem. Louisville is better than Boise State - and not just a little better. I've watched both of these teams more than once this season thanks to ESPN showing them every time there is an open slot. I think Boise State is a very well-coached and exciting team to watch, but Louisville is more sound from top to bottom. The Cardinals simply have athletes that the Broncos do not. Boise State will get their licks in, but this will turn into a Louisville romp.

 

Peach
Miami (-2.5) 28
Florida 27

 

The Peach Bowl committee in their wildest imaginations could not have dreamed up a match-up like this. While Florida going 7-4 in the SEC is no shock, for Miami to fall into their laps took divine intervention. Of course, this is a mixed blessing. Miami fans don't even fill their own stadium if FSU's not in town so why the Cane faithful would come to Atlanta in a game where the national title is not being contested is beyond me. Still, I am going against the HTBH rule and taking the Hurricanes in a game that will feature remarkable displays of talent from the skill positions on both teams. Did anyone notice that Brock Berlin's TD/INT ratio is an astonishing 21/5? How did that happen?

 

Outback
Georgia (-7) 17
Wisconsin 13

 

I still must apply the SEC v. Big Ten rule here, but Wisconsin's defense will keep it close. As a matter of fact, I would be willing to bet that David Greene, after stinking up the first three quarters, will throw a TD pass with under a minute remaining to win it. Any Georgia fans want a piece of that?

 

Cotton
Texas A&M (-3) 27
Tennessee 21

 

This is a complete shot in the dark because I don't know who will play quarterback for Tennessee. However, I do know that the vastly improved Reggie McNeal will play quarterback for Texas A&M. A healthy Erik Ainge or Brent Schaeffer could add another TD for the Vols. Otherwise, give it to A&M on offensive skill position talent and HTBH.

 

Gator
Florida State (-8) 28
West Virginia 16

 

Has West Virginia impressed anyone this year when given the opportunity? They're the most underachieving unit this side of Virginia (fitting, I suppose). Bobby Bowden will coach fast and loose and he's phenomenal in non-national title bowl games (something like 13-1).

 

Capital One
LSU (-6.5) 27
Iowa 14

 

Poor Iowa, Kirk Ferentz turns in one of the great coaching jobs of the year to get them to 9-2 and the Hawkeyes are rewarded with a trip south to play LSU, a team just now rounding into the national title form of last year. I think LSU would give any of the top five problems, much less Iowa. I really like LSU freshman quarterback JaMarcus Russell, but I took a plane ride with a big Tiger fan (yes, we were drinking on the plane) who claims the Bayou Nation is not sold on the kid. Can someone explain this?

 

Rose
Texas (-5.5) 38
Michigan 28

 

I think Texas fields a better team than Michigan. Were Chad Henne a sophomore rather than a freshman, I might have a different opinion. The great advantage for Texas is, with Lloyd Carr on the opposite sideline, for once Mack Brown faces an opposing coach as boring and unimaginative as he is. That bodes well for the Texas running game, which will eventually grind down a fairly average Wolverine rush defense.  

 

Fiesta
Utah (-16.5) 42
Pittsburgh 14

 

This is the biggest line of the bowl season and for good reason - Pittsburgh just isn't that good. There is a possibility that Utah will mail this one in under a lame duck coach, but I bet there is too much pride in being the first little brother to make the BCS for that to happen. Utah can't beat Pitt bad enough to prove their worth. It's a real shame the Big East can't fly Louisville in for this one. That would be a ballgame.

 

Sugar
Auburn (-7) 23
Virginia Tech 26

 

Auburn arguably should be playing for the national title. Instead they draw a ferocious and underrated opponent with a huge chip on their shoulder. My hunch is Virginia Tech spoils the War Eagle party and sends the BCS home relieved. That will, in a sense, be a damn shame.

 

Orange
Oklahoma 31
USC (-3) 27

 

I have no idea. Chalk it up to Big 12 bias if you want; that's as good an explanation as any. I can go round and round in my head and not come to any cogent conclusion as to which team I believe will win what could be one of the best games ever played. If it lives up to the hype, I will be a happy fan. I would note, oddly enough, that neither defense seems to get the credit deserved. That said, I think this will be a game of big plays and I think OU will have one more than USC.

 

That's a wrap for 2004. I'll be back in January to tell you how it all ended. As much as I will enjoy this bowl slate, I think I will leave you with a vision from yesterday afternoon that I enjoyed even more. From the second story window of my house, I was taking off my tie and looked into the front yard to see my nine-year old playing catch with nobody. Not quite nobody - he was fully engaged. He was playing quarterback and running back and wide receiver, throwing the ball just beyond his own grasp, just so he would have to make the spectacular catch. Or making a nasty cut in front of the Sago palm and leaping it to get to the first down marker. I guess I used to do the same thing. I just never knew what it looked like. It's funny to look so clearly into the past. It makes you want to return to the time you see. So I did. Except I played the role of dad this time. Throwing real passes, as opposed to catching phantom ones. And you know, the kid's got pretty good hands.

 

There's an old southern call and response to the congregation that goes like this:

 

God is good.

 

All the time.

 

And all the time.

 

God is good.

 

My best to you and yours.